16 October 2009

Venom the barber

Smalam ada singgah satu kedai gunting rambut venom. Nama kedai macam band metal. Masuk dalam x de sekor pun pegang gitar. Kedai gunting tu baru bukak dalam 2 minggu lepas kat kedai taman perumahan aku ni. Lepas ni x jauh sangat la aku nak pegi carik kedai gunting rambut. Masa zaman2 rambut panjang lepas abis skolah dulu, x penah nya aku pegi kedai gunting. Rambut trim sindri je. Gunting rambut dalam bilik air. Satu cermin gantung depan muka, satu lagi pegang pakai tangan suluh dari belakang. Gunting rambut pakai sebelah tangan je. Ape ada hal? Rambut panjang x susah mana pon nak gunting sindri. Cuma zaman rambut pendek ni je susah sikit.

Melangkah kaki masuk dalam kedai venom, x ramai sangat kastemer dia. Mungkin ramai lagi penduduk belum tahu kewujudan kedai venom ni. Cuma aku dengan sorang brader tengah buat cukur jambang je yang ada. Heran betul aku dengan brader tu. Kat rumah x bleh cukur sindri ke? Ari ni cukur dah sah2 kena cas. Bangun tido pagi besok sape nak cukur jambang dia? Pemalas!! Sambil menunggu brader tu siap gunting, aku duduk kat kusyen yang di sediakan sambil pekena majalah tamil.

Tengah leka belek gambar betis karisma kapoor, aku dengar brader tu kena belasah. Berlepuk2 jugak la kena kat blakang badan dia. Tapi brader tu buat relek je. Kejap2 babu tu urut2 bahu. Kejap2 picit2 kepala. Tapi dia punya ending memang sadis. Buat letup leher. Prak!! sebelah kiri, prak!! sebelah kanan 90 degree. Pergh...best gak servis kedai venom ni. Lama dah x kena urut2 badan. Punya banyak kedai gunting aku pegi, baru ni je ada servis urut2 lepas gunting rambut.

Sampai turn aku, babu tu tepuk2 seat kasi signal suruh aku duduk. Muka senyum2. Lepas duduk macam biasa aku akan cakap..

Aku: "potong biasa. tepi x mau slop. atas blakang kasi pendek. tepi still bleh kasi sikat. ekor blakang kasi potong rata."

Babu: "@#$%^**&%^#" sambil kepala terjoget2.

Ah suddah!!...Betul2 foreigner dari calcutta punya mari ni.

************************************************

Bagus babu ni. Kira hensem la rambut aku dia design. Yang aku paham, dia bleh paham cakap aku. Cuma dia x berapa cekap je nak balas balik. Macam melayu jugak. Paham omputeh becakap. Cuma tegagap2 je nak betah balik.

Lepas abis bergunting, babu tu sapu2 tangan dia ngan satu minyak warna kuning. Nak buat urut rupa nya. Starting kat kepala aku. Abis dia henyak kepala aku sampai nampak mata putih je dia buat. Nasib baik aku bukan sultan. Kalo x, dah lama kena tembak babu ni. Lepas kepala, turun kat blakang badan. Dia punya lepuk bunyi kuat je lebih, sakit tadak. Sedap2 rasa la kira nya. Ending punya letup leher, aku larat setakat pusing belah kanan je. Aku pun rajin jugak letup2 leher ni. Tapi x la sakit macam babu ni buat. Macam jes bon nak bunuh orang je dia punya skill. Cepat2 aku bangun dari kerusi sambil sambung letup belah kiri buat sindri.

Babu membebel2. Aku x peduli. Aku hulur 7 rengget, aku terus blah.

*************************************************

Ari ni MC. Pegi klinik tadi kepala teleng belah ke kanan. Pandang dokter pun main jeling2 je. Balik rumah, aku dah call suma orang kampung nak belasah babu venom atas alasan ada perisik dari india nak ambil alih senawang. Orang kampung pun dah setuju tunggu depan kedai babu venom malam ni.

p/s: dah ada idea kalo nak mc lepas ni.

98 comments:

a.k.u.p.e.n.t.o.i said...

hahahahaha.....lu pny citer.....kasi ilang ua pny penat siot!

macha_sezs said...

hahahaha.
aku syak ko sakit sebab ko tak bagi dia buiat lagi sebelah la bro..

eliza said...

korang pakat nk belasah babu..kesian la tak sempat dia nk sambut depavali esok..

halym said...

entri ni sempena Deepavali kan?
1Malaysia gak kau ni...hahaha

miss oren said...

wei agak2 la nakl belasah babu tu
tunggu la die raya dulu

soul krasty said...

mentang2 deepavali..entri pn psl babu yg sambut deepavali..haha..mmg 1malaysia la ko ni.

zairi said...

pentoi:
kasi ilang penat ke? hahaa..keja berpada2 la lain kali.

macha:
pemahaman ko memang tepat ar..sepatut patut memang babu tu kena buat kiri kanan. tapi sakit siot dia punya skill. oleh kerana impak letup babu ngan aku x sama jurus, tu yang leher jadi teleng.

eliza:
sempat ke x sempat ke, dia patut terima balasan. leher aku ni sapa nak repair?

halym:
sempena deeparaya jugak la. hahaa...memandai2 je ko ni.

oren:
ahh..x kira!!

azuwan:
tapi 1malaysia punya lagu memang x best ar..

nuyuljana said...

hahaha.

itu servis urut2 xde cas ka?

ajako said...

sowi tertinggal bas...aku part letup2 leher ni mmg ngeri...skali silap letup, itu kedei juga kita kasi letup...

@tune® said...

kukuh sgt alasan kau

zairi said...

nuyul:
itu servis kita kasi free juga ada..

ajako:
hahaa..xpe2.bas berenti lama kat bas stop ni.

atun:
well...u kno me

Anonymous said...

len kali... per kata awak lak gi letup leher macha tuh.. hikhikhikk

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