16 October 2009

Venom the barber

Smalam ada singgah satu kedai gunting rambut venom. Nama kedai macam band metal. Masuk dalam x de sekor pun pegang gitar. Kedai gunting tu baru bukak dalam 2 minggu lepas kat kedai taman perumahan aku ni. Lepas ni x jauh sangat la aku nak pegi carik kedai gunting rambut. Masa zaman2 rambut panjang lepas abis skolah dulu, x penah nya aku pegi kedai gunting. Rambut trim sindri je. Gunting rambut dalam bilik air. Satu cermin gantung depan muka, satu lagi pegang pakai tangan suluh dari belakang. Gunting rambut pakai sebelah tangan je. Ape ada hal? Rambut panjang x susah mana pon nak gunting sindri. Cuma zaman rambut pendek ni je susah sikit.

Melangkah kaki masuk dalam kedai venom, x ramai sangat kastemer dia. Mungkin ramai lagi penduduk belum tahu kewujudan kedai venom ni. Cuma aku dengan sorang brader tengah buat cukur jambang je yang ada. Heran betul aku dengan brader tu. Kat rumah x bleh cukur sindri ke? Ari ni cukur dah sah2 kena cas. Bangun tido pagi besok sape nak cukur jambang dia? Pemalas!! Sambil menunggu brader tu siap gunting, aku duduk kat kusyen yang di sediakan sambil pekena majalah tamil.

Tengah leka belek gambar betis karisma kapoor, aku dengar brader tu kena belasah. Berlepuk2 jugak la kena kat blakang badan dia. Tapi brader tu buat relek je. Kejap2 babu tu urut2 bahu. Kejap2 picit2 kepala. Tapi dia punya ending memang sadis. Buat letup leher. Prak!! sebelah kiri, prak!! sebelah kanan 90 degree. Pergh...best gak servis kedai venom ni. Lama dah x kena urut2 badan. Punya banyak kedai gunting aku pegi, baru ni je ada servis urut2 lepas gunting rambut.

Sampai turn aku, babu tu tepuk2 seat kasi signal suruh aku duduk. Muka senyum2. Lepas duduk macam biasa aku akan cakap..

Aku: "potong biasa. tepi x mau slop. atas blakang kasi pendek. tepi still bleh kasi sikat. ekor blakang kasi potong rata."

Babu: "@#$%^**&%^#" sambil kepala terjoget2.

Ah suddah!!...Betul2 foreigner dari calcutta punya mari ni.

************************************************

Bagus babu ni. Kira hensem la rambut aku dia design. Yang aku paham, dia bleh paham cakap aku. Cuma dia x berapa cekap je nak balas balik. Macam melayu jugak. Paham omputeh becakap. Cuma tegagap2 je nak betah balik.

Lepas abis bergunting, babu tu sapu2 tangan dia ngan satu minyak warna kuning. Nak buat urut rupa nya. Starting kat kepala aku. Abis dia henyak kepala aku sampai nampak mata putih je dia buat. Nasib baik aku bukan sultan. Kalo x, dah lama kena tembak babu ni. Lepas kepala, turun kat blakang badan. Dia punya lepuk bunyi kuat je lebih, sakit tadak. Sedap2 rasa la kira nya. Ending punya letup leher, aku larat setakat pusing belah kanan je. Aku pun rajin jugak letup2 leher ni. Tapi x la sakit macam babu ni buat. Macam jes bon nak bunuh orang je dia punya skill. Cepat2 aku bangun dari kerusi sambil sambung letup belah kiri buat sindri.

Babu membebel2. Aku x peduli. Aku hulur 7 rengget, aku terus blah.

*************************************************

Ari ni MC. Pegi klinik tadi kepala teleng belah ke kanan. Pandang dokter pun main jeling2 je. Balik rumah, aku dah call suma orang kampung nak belasah babu venom atas alasan ada perisik dari india nak ambil alih senawang. Orang kampung pun dah setuju tunggu depan kedai babu venom malam ni.

p/s: dah ada idea kalo nak mc lepas ni.

249 comments:

1 – 200 of 249   Newer›   Newest»
a.k.u.p.e.n.t.o.i said...

hahahahaha.....lu pny citer.....kasi ilang ua pny penat siot!

macha_sezs said...

hahahaha.
aku syak ko sakit sebab ko tak bagi dia buiat lagi sebelah la bro..

eliza said...

korang pakat nk belasah babu..kesian la tak sempat dia nk sambut depavali esok..

halym said...

entri ni sempena Deepavali kan?
1Malaysia gak kau ni...hahaha

Mak Jemah said...

wei agak2 la nakl belasah babu tu
tunggu la die raya dulu

jiwa sifar said...

mentang2 deepavali..entri pn psl babu yg sambut deepavali..haha..mmg 1malaysia la ko ni.

zairi said...

pentoi:
kasi ilang penat ke? hahaa..keja berpada2 la lain kali.

macha:
pemahaman ko memang tepat ar..sepatut patut memang babu tu kena buat kiri kanan. tapi sakit siot dia punya skill. oleh kerana impak letup babu ngan aku x sama jurus, tu yang leher jadi teleng.

eliza:
sempat ke x sempat ke, dia patut terima balasan. leher aku ni sapa nak repair?

halym:
sempena deeparaya jugak la. hahaa...memandai2 je ko ni.

oren:
ahh..x kira!!

azuwan:
tapi 1malaysia punya lagu memang x best ar..

nuyuljana said...

hahaha.

itu servis urut2 xde cas ka?

ajako said...

sowi tertinggal bas...aku part letup2 leher ni mmg ngeri...skali silap letup, itu kedei juga kita kasi letup...

@tune® said...

kukuh sgt alasan kau

zairi said...

nuyul:
itu servis kita kasi free juga ada..

ajako:
hahaa..xpe2.bas berenti lama kat bas stop ni.

atun:
well...u kno me

Anonymous said...

len kali... per kata awak lak gi letup leher macha tuh.. hikhikhikk

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of depression when they fail to achieve erection. You will also find the voice recorder, COMPUTER syncing, stereo
system Bluetooth, The My Nokia application for communication and support, along
with community portal that may deliver My - Space and Tweets feeds.

Anonymous said...

More over the side effects are very common ones like a running nose or a little uneasiness and that too for first time takers.
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within the therapy of premature ejaculation, can help men preserve an erection long sufficient to total sexual activity, and
therefore assist remove the anxiousness of losing his erection -
the trigger of premature ejaculation in most males.

Anonymous said...

More over the side effects are very common ones like a running nose or a
little uneasiness and that too for first time takers.
If you want to know if it's the right choice for you
there are a few simple steps you need to follow before taking it.
It could consequently be said that even when Viagra can't
directly assist within the therapy of premature ejaculation, can help men preserve an erection long
sufficient to total sexual activity, and therefore
assist remove the anxiousness of losing his erection -
the trigger of premature ejaculation in most males.

Anonymous said...

Viagra takes approx 15 minutes to come into action, and will
be effective until the patient becomes sexually aroused.
Acai has become one of the top choices for not only
people looking to boost energy and become more active, but it has even been known to help people have children. A number of individuals prefer to use herbal medications because these products are supposedly free of side effects compared to prescription medicines
and over-the-counter drugs.

Anonymous said...

Viagra takes approx 15 minutes to come into action, and will be effective until the
patient becomes sexually aroused. Acai has become one of the top choices
for not only people looking to boost energy and become more active,
but it has even been known to help people have children. A number of individuals prefer to use herbal medications because
these products are supposedly free of side effects compared to prescription medicines
and over-the-counter drugs.

Anonymous said...

More over the side effects are very common ones like a running nose or a little uneasiness and
that too for first time takers. Some brands even offer additional benefits, because the herbs used can improve
your stamina, boost your memory or even protect your body from free radicals.
These products usually contain natural aphrodisiacs that have proven their efficacy in raising the sexual appetite and Vig - Rx Plus
improving the sexual intercourse.

Anonymous said...

More over the side effects are very common ones
like a running nose or a little uneasiness and that
too for first time takers. Some brands even offer additional benefits, because the herbs used can improve your stamina, boost your memory or even protect your body from free radicals.
These products usually contain natural aphrodisiacs that
have proven their efficacy in raising the sexual
appetite and Vig - Rx Plus improving the sexual intercourse.

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Anonymous said...

Like Coke just keeps its formula as a trade secret. If you want to know if it's the right choice for you there are
a few simple steps you need to follow before taking it.
Some Energy Psychology techniques utilize Chakras in their
emotional release work, while others, such as EFT, utilize the body's acupuncture system.

Anonymous said...

Like Coke just keeps its formula as a trade secret. If you want to know if
it's the right choice for you there are a few simple
steps you need to follow before taking it. Some Energy Psychology techniques utilize Chakras in their emotional release work,
while others, such as EFT, utilize the body's acupuncture system.

Anonymous said...

is the main food staple of river communities in the Amazon estuary,
' says the agronomist Oscar Nogueira. Acai has become
one of the top choices for not only people looking to boost energy
and become more active, but it has even been known to help
people have children. "This sense of entitlement I don't understand because I wasn't raised that way.

Anonymous said...

is the main food staple of river communities in the Amazon estuary,' says the agronomist Oscar Nogueira.
Acai has become one of the top choices for not only people looking to boost
energy and become more active, but it has even been known to help people have
children. "This sense of entitlement I don't understand because I wasn't raised that way.

Anonymous said...

Individuals who might be handicapped, can easily obtain on their own without necessitating help
from a relative or caregiver. will increase your
control of ejaculation as well as frequency of intercourse.
Topic-wise, you will do well to cater to a starving market that will always be on demand for the
kind of content you offer.

Anonymous said...

Individuals who might be handicapped, can easily
obtain on their own without necessitating help from a relative or caregiver.
will increase your control of ejaculation as well as frequency of intercourse.
Topic-wise, you will do well to cater to a starving market that will always be on demand for the kind of
content you offer.

Anonymous said...

Apparently, Viagra has almost the same effect on ripening a plant than it
does on the male sex organ. If you want to know if
it's the right choice for you there are a few simple steps you need to follow before taking it.
"This sense of entitlement I don't understand because I wasn't raised that way.

Anonymous said...

Apparently, Viagra has almost the same effect on ripening a plant
than it does on the male sex organ. If you want to know if it's the right choice for
you there are a few simple steps you need to follow before taking it.
"This sense of entitlement I don't understand because I wasn't raised that way.

Anonymous said...

(See this article on Herbal Viagra for more information about fraudulent Viagra claims.

If you want to know if it's the right choice for you there are a few simple steps you need to follow before taking it.
Topic-wise, you will do well to cater to a starving market that
will always be on demand for the kind of content you offer.

Anonymous said...

Apparently, Viagra has almost the same effect on ripening a plant than it does on the male sex organ. will increase your control of ejaculation as well as
frequency of intercourse. Premature ejaculation can be frustrating for each partners and might even endanger their relationship if a man ejaculates
previously than needed on a normal foundation.

Anonymous said...

Viagra takes approx 15 minutes to come into action, and will
be effective until the patient becomes sexually aroused.
Around 70 percent of men using it reported some improvement in achieving and
maintaining an erection. A number of individuals prefer to use
herbal medications because these products are supposedly free of side effects compared to prescription medicines and
over-the-counter drugs.

Anonymous said...

Viagra takes approx 15 minutes to come into action,
and will be effective until the patient becomes sexually aroused.

Around 70 percent of men using it reported some improvement in achieving and maintaining an erection. A number of individuals prefer to
use herbal medications because these products are supposedly free
of side effects compared to prescription medicines
and over-the-counter drugs.

Anonymous said...

Viagra takes approx 15 minutes to come into action, and
will be effective until the patient becomes sexually aroused.
Around 70 percent of men using it reported some improvement
in achieving and maintaining an erection. In this review I will be comparing Spam Terrier to the standard spam fighting tools in Outlook and Outlook Express.

Anonymous said...

Maca root may help prevent bone loss experienced by postmenopausal women. Men often become victim of depression when they fail to
achieve erection. In this review I will be comparing
Spam Terrier to the standard spam fighting
tools in Outlook and Outlook Express.

Anonymous said...

More over the side effects are very common ones like a running nose or a little uneasiness and that too for first time takers.
Some brands even offer additional benefits, because the herbs used can improve your stamina,
boost your memory or even protect your body from free radicals.
Premature ejaculation can be frustrating for each partners and might
even endanger their relationship if a man ejaculates previously than needed on a normal foundation.

Anonymous said...

That allows for a lot of Google Ad - Sense revenue, but also avoids the possibility
of losing customers to other Web sites right before they make a purchase.
Men often become victim of depression when they fail to achieve erection. It
could consequently be said that even when Viagra can't
directly assist within the therapy of premature ejaculation, can help men preserve an erection long sufficient to total sexual activity, and therefore assist remove the anxiousness of losing his erection -
the trigger of premature ejaculation in most males.

Anonymous said...

That allows for a lot of Google Ad - Sense revenue, but also avoids the possibility of losing customers
to other Web sites right before they make a purchase.

Men often become victim of depression when they fail
to achieve erection. It could consequently
be said that even when Viagra can't directly assist within the therapy of premature ejaculation, can help
men preserve an erection long sufficient to
total sexual activity, and therefore assist remove the anxiousness of losing
his erection - the trigger of premature ejaculation in most males.

Anonymous said...

Viagra takes approx 15 minutes to come into action, and will be effective until the patient becomes sexually aroused.
Some brands even offer additional benefits, because the herbs used can improve your stamina,
boost your memory or even protect your body from free radicals.
Some Energy Psychology techniques utilize Chakras in their emotional release work, while others,
such as EFT, utilize the body's acupuncture system.

Anonymous said...

Viagra takes approx 15 minutes to come into action, and will be effective
until the patient becomes sexually aroused. Some brands even offer additional
benefits, because the herbs used can improve your
stamina, boost your memory or even protect your body from free radicals.
Some Energy Psychology techniques utilize Chakras in their emotional release work, while others,
such as EFT, utilize the body's acupuncture system.

Anonymous said...

Viagra takes approx 15 minutes to come into action, and will be effective until the patient becomes sexually aroused.
Some brands even offer additional benefits, because the herbs used can improve
your stamina, boost your memory or even protect your body from free radicals.
Topic-wise, you will do well to cater to a starving market
that will always be on demand for the kind of content you offer.

Anonymous said...

Viagra takes approx 15 minutes to come into action, and will be effective until the patient
becomes sexually aroused. Some brands even offer additional
benefits, because the herbs used can improve your stamina,
boost your memory or even protect your body from free radicals.
Topic-wise, you will do well to cater to a starving market that will always be on demand for the kind of content you
offer.

Anonymous said...

Maca root may help prevent bone loss experienced
by postmenopausal women. Each process is then executed
by people playing specific roles. Premature ejaculation can be frustrating for each partners and might even endanger their relationship if a man ejaculates previously
than needed on a normal foundation.

Anonymous said...

Maca root may help prevent bone loss experienced by postmenopausal women. Each process is then executed by people playing
specific roles. Premature ejaculation can be frustrating for each partners
and might even endanger their relationship if a man ejaculates previously
than needed on a normal foundation.

Anonymous said...

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I love all the points you've made.

Anonymous said...

Like Coke just keeps its formula as a trade secret.
Things changed when Cialis made its appearance in the
market. You will also find the voice recorder, COMPUTER syncing,
stereo system Bluetooth, The My Nokia application for
communication and support, along with community portal that may deliver My - Space and Tweets feeds.

Anonymous said...

Like Coke just keeps its formula as a trade secret.
Things changed when Cialis made its appearance
in the market. You will also find the voice recorder, COMPUTER syncing,
stereo system Bluetooth, The My Nokia application for communication and support, along with community portal that
may deliver My - Space and Tweets feeds.

Anonymous said...

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Also, many thanks for allowing me to comment!

Anonymous said...

Signals from satellite dishes positioned in a low look angle are more likely to exxperience such a
problem. In fact, it's not only speed that's the concerrn - there's cost aas
well. In some cases, the internet has completely replaced
existing systems and streamlined things in the
process.

Anonymous said...

DSL Internet providers aare able to offer consumers access to ultra fast broadband Internet.
When you want to pay your hotel bill or buy your return-flight, you could be upp an unmentionable creek if
your money gets lost or stolen. Satellite internet service has beden aroiund for years,
but has always suffered from some basic problems such as slow speeds and a lag
due to the distance in which the signall is forced to travel.

Anonymous said...

However, what are you going to ddo iff you live in a rural region and don't
have a fast internet connection or any connection at all.
Thee internet is a great tool to learn what events
take place each ydar and each month in your new city. As a result, you will need speeds
folund on such platforms as DSL or cable internet service.

Anonymous said...

Eaach phone includes an Analog Telephony Adapter (ATA), so only
regular modems are required that have an Ethernet jack.
Early evening iis considered a 'peak' time for internet use by most broadband providers and therefore a slightly slower speeed should be expected.
For the normal end-user, these cloud-based services ccome in the form
of Apple's i - Cloud and , being cost effective and intuitie solutions even if users are just using wireless Internet.

Anonymous said...

While we more than likely will havee a lot of books iin our house
to look at, chances are wwe are now reading thhose same books online.
However, wwe may not feel comforttable talking to anyone in our lives about what iss
going on. This sort of systtem is veryy similar tto the World Wide Web.

Anonymous said...

This is all possible thanks to Via - Sat-1 which
provides up to 140 ggabits per second throughput between the customers and the twenty terrestrial teleports located throughout the United States.
It is also ery easy to transfder data from one plaqce to another in order to get it safely on a remote server.
As a result, the company is therefore more productive as well and happier workers will stay with thhe company longer.

Anonymous said...

And, these devices can save lives when someone is in a remote
area and needs emergency services. To begin, one of thee most important
things to consider when looking for a student flat is the flat's location. There are lots of benefits of
cheap satellite internet.

Anonymous said...

Broadband through satsllite is beamed to a satellite
dish that is innstalled at a home or business. Thee internet is a great
tooil to learn what events take place each year and ech moonth
in your new city. When satellite television was first introduced years
ago, satellite dishes ere large, bulky, very expensive and uncommon.

Anonymous said...

The best broadband deal available is different forr different people i.
Instead of having to haul around reams of paper or huge law books, lawyers
can now find thee information they need by simoly logging onto the internet.
If someone sees your child with a wallet full of
cash, they may seem like easay pickings for vagabonds.

Anonymous said...

Another protocol running on the wireless router with be NAT (Network Address Translation), which translates locally routable
IP Addresses tto Globally routable IP Addresses needed on the Internet.
With most of the world goihg online, it is becoming essential to have the internet in both homes and businesses.
There are lots of benefits of cheap satellite internet.

Anonymous said...

Signals from satellite dishes positioned iin a low look angle are more likely
to experience such a problem. All it takes is a few clicks of the mouse in order to have a fresh pizz or even your groceries waitung on you in a matter
of minutes. Each and every household is different, in terms of children and data usages, therefore different needs and demands exist.

Anonymous said...

Even thouhgh this kind of old shool computers was hard to
utilize, the purpose of its operating system was straightforward.
You can classify wireleess internet service providers in two groups based on the area where they operate.
To avail this seervice of affordable Vo - IP international calls, you firstly need to get yourself registere with Vo - IP service provider.

Anonymous said...

There are a number of factors involved in making thiis decision.
This enables the signal to ccover lqrger distances; some estimates predict that it could cover
16 times the area of a regular Wi-Fi hot spot.
Secondly - the network can bee used by manyy different providers so the high level
of competition keeps prices low.

Anonymous said...

Each phone includes an Analog Telephony Adapter (ATA), so only
regular modems are rdquired that have ann Ethernet jack.
Early evening is considered a 'peak' time forr infernet use by most broadband providers and therefore a slightly
slower speed should bee expected. These
computer moodels basically take a snapshot of what the weather is doing across the country at four
specific timjes each day.

Anonymous said...

It's important to be clewr about what you actually use broadband for, for example do you tend to download a lot of films and music.
If it behaves same at your friend's house too, your modem is faulty and youu have to replace it.
If you have friends or family that use a different ISP but are
on a similar tariff to you, ask the to perform connection speed tests at similar times to you
and compare the results you both get.

Anonymous said...

Somee providers aare better in terms of international calls
and these companies offer service plans that are made for people who make a lot of calls outside of the US.
Satellite internet makes alll of this possible since
it doesn't rely on traditional wires. Satellite internet is available in many places where DSL, cable internet,and broadband
are not.

Anonymous said...

Some providers are better in term of international calls and these
companies offer service plans that are made for people who
make a lot of calls outside of the US. Witth most of the world going online, itt is becomiing essential too have
thhe internet in both homes and businesses. Satellite
internet service has been around foor years, but has always suffered from some bqsic problems such ass slow sperds and a lag due to the distance in which the
signal is forced to travel.

Anonymous said...

Vodafone has as yet not provided any details regarding
its ownn 4G network. The installation process for DSL will vary depending on the type of connection. This sort off system is very similar to thhe World Wide Web.

Anonymous said...

Radios with their frequency hopping feature switched onn furthner underscore this point.
Interestingly, aall of these states aare rural in nature peoviding a good indicator where
broadband expansion iis going. There are many considerations
that need to be taken inhto account before you start trading.

Anonymous said...

Ther are a number oof factors involved in making this decision. While thhe early
2000's saw DSL and thewn Dedicated Internet Access(DIA)
as the dominant sources of Bandwidth used to deliver the Internet to the business community,
the current trend might suggest that the cable companies entry into
the business market could become a significant source in the coming years.
When it comes to setting up an ingernet provider it's best to find out all the
companies which could service that particular area and then contact each one directly and ask
the questions youu newd to in order to determine the right internet
service for your needs and budget.

Anonymous said...

Broadband wireless internet providers are nnot available in all areas.
Some of the most recent numbrs show that just
over 46% of Americans use the internet in order to filpe their taxes on a regular basis.

There are many considerations that need to be taken into account before
you start trading.

Anonymous said...

When you make use of a cell phone, it is very ijportant be close tto a mobile cell tower.

These features, with the combination of the fast broadband internet, are making these phoness veey popular,
especially for the young people. As a result, it will
be free of any other clutter and be able to operate on a much faster scale than ever before.

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I'm looking for something completely unique.
P.S My apologies for getting off-topic but I had to
ask!

Anonymous said...

I was curious if you ever considered changing the layout of your blog?

Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.
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Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or 2 images.
Maybe you could space it out better?

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Bu sistem şu şekilde işlemektedir; kullanıcı alışveriş yapacağı
siiteye giriş yaparak alacağı ürünleri seçer, ürünler seçildikten sonra ödeme
seçenekleri sayfasına yönelir, bu sayfadaki ödeme seçeneklerinden AstroPay seçeneği işaretlenir ve AstroPay sitesinden alınan pin kodu kullanılarak alışveriş tamamlanmış olur.

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Astropay sitesine üye oldukta sonra paara yatırma işleminin yapılması esnasında kredi kartını kullanmak
mümkün olmaktadır. Bunun için astropay kullanıcı adınızı ve şifrenizi girerek astropay hesabınızı açmanız ve ödemeler bölümünden kredi kartı ile ödeme
seçeneğini seçerek astropay’a para yatırmanız gerekmektedir.

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